Sunday, January 11, 2009

Pretty, Pretty People

I am watching the Golden Globes, because what is better on a wicked cold January night than seeing pretty pretty people in pretty pretty clothes wearing pretty pretty jewelry. I started with the red carpet show on E! (Does one pronounce the exclamation point? And if so, how?) We are told that it is really hot in LA, which sounds delightful to me, as rather than 80 degrees, our weather forecast consists of more snow and then arctic temperatures.

You know what? Red carpet interviews are really boring. Especially the first ones, since there are only about 5 "stars" here yet, and we have to keep going over and over the same outfits--first with Ryan Seacrest (how does this guy have a career? Is there such a thing as negative charisma? And what happens when it comes in contact with actual charisma?), then with Guiliana Rancic, and again with Jay Manuel and his amazing technicolor dreamcoat.

(This is not it, but it's not far off either.)

But the show finally gets some energy with the arrival of Alec Baldwin--blowing and then swallowing an enormous gum bubble--and we get the answer: when actual charisma comes in contact with negative charisma, the negative charisma slides off screen and surrenders his microphone.

Ricky Gervais! Isn't even nominated, but is here with his normal sized wife. Am I the only person who hasn't noticed before this that Ricky Gervais has vampire teeth? He totally does.

I loved him standing up as a presenter still holding his beer.

Why oh why does anybody interview Rumer Willis? She is "Miss Golden Globe"--which is not a speaking part nor is it worth asking any questions about either. The hair color is good, the dress isn't exactly bad, but DUDE! She's the crossing guard for onstage! This is not air-worthy.

Susan Sarandon and her son--we love Susan Sarandon, don't we all? She wants to keep her diamond chain. I want her diamond chain. She looked luscious, timeless, and comfortable. I want to be Susan Sarandon in my next life.

There were a ton of beautiful dresses and women and jewels. Lots of bared shoulders and mermaid hemlines. I can't wait for the people magazine.

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