Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Desperate Housewives at the SAGs

Nicolette Sheridan: One Grecian urn. . .TWO Grecian urns. . .and a water fountain. Trickle trickle trickle trickle.

Teri Hatcher: Oh my god, Nicolette. What are you doing? Eurythmics are so Nineteen-ought-six!

Nicolette Sheridan: Teri! That dress is so clever! I think I saw it in a book called "Creative Napkin Folding."

Teri Hatcher: Oh! You beeyotch! Marcia, tell her she's wrong!

Marcia Cross: What? Are you talking to me? La la la, I can't hear you, I'm too busy talking to Up And Coming Hollywood Star Amy Adams about the advantage of dark colors on pale skinned red heads. Maybe we'll invite Evan Rachel Wood to join us in our cool new clubhouse.

Teri Hatcher: Fine! Fine! I'll go get Eva. Eva! Nicolette is being mean to me again!

Eva Longoria Parker: Damn it feels good to breathe! Just look at how much more room I have in this dress than in that red thing I wore at the Golden Globes. Plus, this one has a little tummy ruffle, so it covers up that I've been eating stadium food at Troy's games. But, why do I have this sudden craving for orange sherbet?

Teri Hatcher: Okay, just be that way! I'm going to go change and go back down the red carpet again, and I'm totally going to make everybody forget about you. I just hope nobody notices that I forgot to wear the right bra, and so I had to fill up the dress with kleenex.

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