Police have no leads as to the latest wave of criminal activity to hit LA. Apparently, someone with an impressive set of shears has been attacking Hollywood actresses and leaving them with only one shoulder to their gowns.
Evan Rachel Wood, Christina Applegate and Nicolette Sheridan were escorted to police headquarters, but could not make any positive identification.
TV stars from several shows have also been victimized. Lisa Edelstein, Angela Kinsey and Brenda Strong have also suffered the Snipper of Doom.
Not even the prestige production actresses are immune. Laura Linney, of the HBO mini-series "John Adams" and Viola Davis of "Doubt" have not escaped this mad spree.
The police have requested that any member of the public who has information about this Sartorial Shoulder Snatcher call Crimestoppers. Thank you for your attention.