Halloween Costumes

We are in the throws of indecision, as October nears its end. It's a terribly indecisive month, here at Chez Evil--primarily because of the opportunities for choice. Pony's birthday happens, and she needs to provide a wish list, which is difficult because she can usually think of about two things she wants, and that's about it. Similarly, Mr. Sweetie is naturally modest and shy, and feels somehow inauthentic and grasping if he indicates what he might want for gifts for his October birthday.

(Ha! I'm getting smarter, and this year, I pulled requests out of both of them. How? Well might you ask! I simply warned them that if they didn't make suggestions lists, they would get gifts off of MY list of suggestions---which tended toward the shiny, the purple, and the mid-height heel. Sure, Mr. Sweetie has nice legs, but I bet he's really not interested in a pair of round toed platform pumps.)

The last of the crises is upon us not--what to be for Halloween?

Bunny has hers down--she's going to be a newsboy. She already has the hat, because she's a STYLIN' fifth grader. The real bonus is that she's going to get to adverstise the latest headlines: "Extra! Extra! Kindergarteners shorter than 5th graders!" "Extra! Extra! Candy expected later this evening!" "Extra, extra! I have no idea what I am talking about!"

It's harder for the Pony, because to wear a costume to school as a 7th grader requires an ineffable mixture of attitude and cool to pull off. No more fairies, angels, or princesses--they must have an edge. Trampy fairies, perhaps, or slutty princesses, maybe--there must be some dash of camp or irony. Boys have it easy--they can always dress up as girls. That's always good for a laugh.

Last year, Pony pulled off a clever costume--"Ra-punk-zel." Black nail polish and lipstick, a long black wig made out of yarn, an old prom dress from Ragstock worn with combat boots, fishnet stockings and fingerless gloves. She was a hoot.

But how do you top that?

Some friends of ours went to a Superhero Costume Party last year. He went as "Silent E," the retro superhearo from the old "Electric Company" PBS series. "He can turn a rob into a robe." She went as "SuperMom." Upon her "Cloak of Invisibility" (because, sadly, so many moms are invisible) she listed all the jobs that moms perform: cook, housekeeper, personal assistant, wardrobe consultant, chauffeur, etc. I thought that was fabulous.

Me? I don't need a costume for Halloween--I dress up every single day in my pretend "I'm a Functioning Adult Who Can Be Relied Upon" outfit. It fools just about everybody!