The Madness Of The Season

So, the ads for the post Thanksgiving sales/kick-off for Christmas shopping are running about every 2.5 seconds on the radio. Some of them are clever--Target, as one might expect, has ones that are not obnoxious, which is a rare achievement.

I have never understood the "doors open at 6 a.m." deal. Of course, I rarely see 6 a.m. unless given no choice--or I'm coming at it from the other side, staying up all night. So, I'm not the demographic they are aiming for, apparently. And really, is it more pleasant to go Christmas shopping at that hour of the morning than in the middle of the day? Is a checkout line any quicker at 6 or 7 a.m. than later in the day?

It must be, or they wouldn't keep doing it.

But, I heard the kicker this afternoon. It was for Kohl's, which I think of as a step up from say, Sears or J.C. Penneys, but nowhere near a Macy's. I've had some luck buying shoes at Kohl's, and they are trying to upgrade with some ready to wear Vera Wang, so I don't entirely dismiss it. But what the hell do they think they are doing with their "After Thanksgiving Sale?" It starts at 4 a.m.! Four bloody a.m.--in the morning!

I guess it's for those insomniacs, or people who are still nursing hangovers or grudges or both, and need to get away from those relatives! Why wait until 6 a.m. when you can actually begin shopping at 4?

It's not like Amazon isn't open at 4, or anything. If you just can't wait to spend money, there are plenty of internet options that are open 24/7. But, you know, you might still be trapped in the same house with your great aunt Myrtle, or something, so better get your butt to Kohl's! You might miss something--there are only 32 shopping days until Christmas, and getting that 6 hour head start is going to make all the difference!

Me? Oh, I'm going to sleep in. It's what I do best.