Monday, June 23, 2008

New Math?

I went to my local PetSmart today to pick up some Desperately Needed guinea pig litter. And--well, the place was just weird. Picked over in some places, and not restocked. What the heck? I asked myself as I wandered past piles of clearance items and boxes in the middle of the floor.

Oh. See that? Right there? Those ENORMOUS RED SIGNS plastered all over the frontage of the store? Oh, those signs. The ones I didn't see when I came in. The ones that say "We're Moving!"

So, I take a look. "Come join us at our new location!" it says, all jaunty like "hey, stop by and we'll totally open that bottle of Nicaraguan rum we've been saving! " Like your friends back in college who would move from one student dive to another, and have beer and pizza while opening boxes--it's fun! It's friends! It's a chance to chill and josh each other.

But wait. "We are moving" to a "new location"--

where there is already a PetSmart.

So, excuse me if I've not got this right, but if you are moving your store into a location where there is already a store, isn't that just closing a store?

/counting on fingers/ Yep. The result is the net loss of one retail outlet. That is a closing. You can't fool me, because I took math!

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