Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Things To Get You Through February

February can be such a loooooong month. Christmas has completely lost whatever magic it once had, and now fresh snow means shoveling the dang sidewalks. Again. Whether or not the groundhog has seen its shadow on February 2, up here in the cold north, six more weeks of winter is actually a fairly conservative estimate. Only six more weeks? That would be a nice change!

January has been a deep freeze, with morning temperatures in the negative double digits, and even having the temperature go up by 40 degrees only means that the snow melts into ice, and then freezes again overnight, making driving and walking into Extreme Sports.

Of course, at least January had New Year's Day, and the Obamarama Inauguration. (Hey W., don't let the door to the White House hit you on the ass as you leave. On second thought, do.) But what does February have? Groundhog's Day, which is only celebrated in Pennsylvania, and Presidents' Day, which is only celebrated by car dealerships and mattress stores. Sure, there is Valentine's Day, but what is that all about after elementary school? Premium pricing on roses, and a great deal of stress placed on men to come up with the Perfect Romantic Gift and Date.

But these are not real holidays. Do you get the day off for any of these days? No. Do you set up and decorate a tree, or send cards, or sing special songs? No, no, and no. February is just day after day of trudging through the slush and cold of winter, forever and ever. You say February is not the longest month of the year? Well, it certainly feels like it.

So, friends, gather around, because this year there is hope. This year, February has brought some joy into the frozen hearts of the people. Behold, I give you Hershey's Cheesecake Kisses.

Okay, so there are still no traditional meals and family gatherings in February, but don't these make things just a little bit better?

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