In Which I Vent And Use Many Curse Words

Oh my god. I am so pissed. This is the post I started, planning to post it yesterday:

SAME SONG, THIRD VERSE

So, back to the doctors' office with the C-CRAP machine today. Yup--the machine was broken. No data at all. No record of use, of air pressure settings, no way to actually make this project be productive.

So, the technician gave me a new machine, and I get to try AGAIN to generate some sleep data AGAIN so I can go back to the doctor AGAIN with the damn machine.

You know, it's particularly discouraging because I'm not seeing any improvement at all. I still need about 11 hours of sleep a night, except when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. You know, 3:30 in the morning is really dark?

Then, I used the damn machine last night. Sure, I only had about 3.5 hours of sleep the night before, so I expected to be able to sleep all night. But when I woke up and took off the damn machine?

Air. The air that was coming out of the mask was like a jet engine compared to what I had been getting before. Because guess what? It wasn't just the data capture that was broken on the old machine, IT WAS THE WHOLE DAMN MACHINE.

It looks like the "automatically adjustable pressure" wasn't adjusting at all. AT ALL. DAMN IT.

I mean, really. Look, I'm usually Pollyfuckinganna about stuff like this, all "well, it's going to be better now," and "it is darkest before the dawn" and shit, but give me a fucking break! I've had this damn machine for something like two and a half months, and IT WASN'T EVEN WORKING!!!

Look, I'm so frustrated, I'm using multiple exclamation points!! And lots of swear words!! <insert Charlie Brown type howl of outrage here> No wonder I wasn't seeing any difference--there was no difference, except for the annoyance and inconvenience of the mask. It certainly wasn't helping me to sleep or to sleep better. And I lost TWO MONTHS--TWO WHOLE MONTHS of my life which I won't get back which were spent trying and trying to get some benefit out of something that was NEVER GOING TO WORK because it was BROKEN and NOBODY even figured it out!

I excuse myself from the list of people who SHOULD have figured it out, because what the hell do I know? I'm the one who's all screwed up from sleep deprivation; higher cognitive functioning is not to be expected.

<heavy sigh>