Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Rhymes with "Dorky"

Well, this looks desperate. Courtesy of Fussy, I have now been "introduced" to Norky, the "New Original GOODWILL character"--although apparently in no way actually connected to Goodwill Industries International, Inc.

According to his website, Norky is the one and only penguin/eagle cross, who lives at the North Pole and is now in charge of Santa's international spook organization, spying on the world's youth and reporting on the naughty and nice activities, as well as being informed as to their sleeping patterns.

Norky, the misbegotten lovechild of an unholy (dare one say "fowl"?) genetic experiment, is not just Santa's narc, he's also desperate for attention. Would you like Norky to appear at YOUR next special event? Apparently no event is too small--according to the Norky web site:

NORKY has appeared at Schools, Hospitals, Special Needs Camps, THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS, Fourth of July Celebrations, Aids Walks, Memorial Day Events,Baseball games, Half-Time Basketball games, Christmas Parades, Kwanzaa Parades, African-American Festivals, Chinese New Year Festivals, Latin & Spanish Family Festivals, Jewish Festivals, Ice Shows, Eco Shows,Book Festivals, DONALD TRUMP'S CELEBRITY GOLF CHARITY EVENTS, Kids Fairs, YMCA's, YWCA's, MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION, Boys & Girls Clubs, SALVATION ARMY etc.
One wonders if he was actually invited to all these "events," or like Paris Hilton, just shows up and acts like he's supposed to be there.

But his talents don't end there-- he has even been "interviewed on the News." Apparently, Norky is desperate to unload copies of his new CD, to the point where he's willing to do anything to get your attention, including "flying with his Big Yellow Shoes" as well as walking and talking too!

What I find most disturbing, however, is this photo:

What the hell? "The L. Ron Hubbard Winter Wonderland"? Tom Cruise, is that you inside that dopey costume? Has your career really gotten that bad?

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