Saint Mary's Ovaries? or 30 Second History

Okay, I knew relic worship was weird, but when we came upon a large plaque for "St. Mary Overies" in Suthurk, I thought "Whaaa???" Medieval spelling being what it was, I figured someone had come up with a new body part for veneration.

Turns out the story is actually more entertaining than that, and not nearly so medical. "Overies" is a corrupted spelling of something that means "Over [the] river."

According to legend, Mary was the daughter of John Overs--who ran a ferry east of London Bridge, near where the Golden Hinde is now docked. He made plenty of money with this ferry, and was mean enough that he saved much of it. In fact, the man was such a miser that he decided to pretend he was dead, calculating that the entire household would fast in mouring, thus saving him the cost of feeding them for 24 hours.

Instead, the servants were so glad he died, that they broke out the brandy and held a feast. This so enraged the miser that he leapt up from his "deathbed" to castigate them for their behavior. This so frightened one of the (presumably drunk) servants that he picked up a shovel and brained the man, killing him for real.

His daughter Mary was distraught at his death, and so sent a message to her lover to come be with her in her troubles. The lover was so excited and anxious to get his hands on the (presumably large) inheritance that he rode his horse so quickly that he fell off and died before he got there.

Poor Mary was so upset by the double misfortune that she took her inheritance and joined a convent. The ferry fortune was used to build a church, called St. Mary Overies, where Mary was buried.

While the story in a good one, Mr. Sweetie spiced it up for the kidlets. Imagine this acted out:

[Rubbing hands and cackling with malicious glee]: "I'll pretend to be dead, and no one will eat. Ha ha, and I'll save even more money."

"Yeah! The master is dead! Let's have a party!"

"What! How dare you....!"

[Large eyes of terror]: "Aaaagh! It's the devil possessing his body! Kill it!" [Pantomime lifting long heavy object and bashing with it]

[Choking, staggering, falling over dead. Xs over eyes a nice touch.]

[Clasping hands under chin] "Oh, my poor dead father. Yoo hoo! Lover! Come quickly!"

[Nobly] "I'm coming my love!" [Sotto voce] "Now I'll be rich!" [To horse] "Come trusty steed, we're off! [Strains of William Tell Overture] "Ahh!" *crash* [Falling down dead. More Xs over eyes]

[Clasped hands under chin] "Boo hoo. Now they are both dead. Guess I'll join a convent."

Well, I have my doubts about all the particulars of this story, but it is written out on a large public sign, so it must be true.