Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Does this mean I'm not married?

I had my wedding ring cut off yesterday. I managed to extract my finger from the engagement ring, but the wedding band was just too tight. Actually, my finger was too fat, but that's putting a negative spin on the whole thing.

It was the right thing to do, as I was getting what my sister calls "ring rot"--itchy skin under the ring, probably having something to do with twenty years of soap buildup or something.

The interesting thing is the little tool they used to cut the ring off. I went to the swanky jewelry store across from the swanky local grocery store. The suave salesguy was younger than I am, which is oddly empowering, considering that I was wearing old jeans and running shoes. I was, um, not swanky. Suave Salesguy fetched down jeweler's technician, who was either from India or farther east, and didn't seem to speak much English. His hands and nails were stained with something like silver polish. He has this nifty little tool that was like a manual can opener. A can opener for baby cans. Baby cans that open sideways.

He slipped the grooved guard between the inside of my finger and the ring, then lowered the tiny little round blade--you know, like the thing that actually cuts open the top of the can, only much smaller, and then he cranked it around like a wind-up toy. Eventually, it made it through the metal, and he then used pliers to spread the edges so I wouldn't hurt myself on the new sharp points.

He even missed the entire engraving inside, which was just good luck.

Turns out that twenty years of ring wearing is hard on the ring. The prongs that hold the diamond in place have been worn down by the diamond, and the base of the prongs (the crown) is missing a divot where it rubbed against the wedding band for twenty years.

Well, since that will cost something to repair--don't we all think should just put the diamond in a different, shinier setting? Or does that invalidate the marriage?

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