Thursday, January 20, 2011

Tiger Mama, Revisited Yale Law Revue Style

Back when I was at the Yale Law School, we students had a tradition called "The Yale Law Revue" where we wrote parodic lyrics to popular songs and used them to make fun of our (highly) eccentric law school experience.  Any foible was fair game, the more public the better.

I expect Amy Chua and her "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" to be prime targets.

In the spirit of those halcyon days of yore, I offer my own take on Amy Chua and the Tiger Mother.  I offer you "The Battle Hymn of the Best-Seller." 

Sing along--you already know the tune.

Mine eyes have read invective of a thousand Mommy Blogs
They say I am abusive, that I treat my kids like dogs
Of my derelictions they make damning catelogues
And the books fly off the shelves!

Glory glory hallelujah!
All you mommies--how I fooled ya!
My book reached number six
On the Amazon sales list
And the bucks keep rolling in!

1 comment:

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

Lemme give my post on the joys of Heaven. Just imagine: holding you in my arms as we watch Heaven's best fireworks for several hours, full of colours never seen before? Boarding a 100X100X100 mile roller-coaster, full of steep climbs for miles? Some delicious-N-nutritious, blackberry tofu in copious amounts is what I as your servant will serve you? We'll have a BIG-ol, woohoo!, party-hardy for eons and eons fulla anything and everything and more. Besides being the most gorgeous thang God ever made, wanna lemme feed you baklava and a whole-lot-better-than-Starbucks ice cream and those teeny, canned oranges for the length of eternity? Wanna swim nude in the ocean as shallow as four feet and then take a shower? Wanna be one with me for THREE, WHOLE, MONTHS or more? Wanna be an adorable 17 forever, me a dashing 21? Wanna love so deep and wide, passionate and warm the universe cannot hold our? Wanna lemme be a part of you till even Heaven crashes around us? Wanna lemme snuggle with you, to love you and gratify your wonderful, beautiful, adorable feet? Wanna lemme prove to you I love you more-than-you-know, from head2toe, bodyNsoul, to give you pleasure-beyond-measure? Meet me in Heaven, girly, and I'll do alla that and more for you for the length and breadth of eternity --- How awesome it shall be to love you in person, to be with you, to hold you in my arms and give you a backrub in the Great Beyond; to kiss your adorable body and nuzzle with you, would make my eternity. God bless you. PS The blog, ‘closenmyeyes’, is how I wish to love you and gratify you in Heaven. Meet me in Heaven, girl.