Dog Circus--Part 2, or The Dog Wars

What is the hardest part of bringing a new dog home? Oh yeah--what happens at night. Where does he sleep? Does he sleep? Or does he keep you up all night with the whining and the scratching and the "but I want to be with YOU" nonsense.

I was forcibly reminded of this last night. I had managed to forget about this, so I had not made any plans about what to do with "Mr. Yips" come bedtime.

Baby gate? Didn't work. As demonstrated by the crash from downstairs and appearance of Mr. Yips on the bed.

Baby gate with a chair in front of it? Didn't work again. No crash this time, but the mini-thunder of paws coming up the stairs. And the appearance of Mr. Yips on the bed.

Now this is no fool of a dog, either. Because when Mr. Yips arrived upstairs, each time he checked the location of the Local Competition (that would be Bermondsey, both times in his own bed underneath ours), then he jumped up and snuggled himself next to me.

Oh yeah. Suck up to the Alpha--a key strategy for success in the pack. And he had the little touches right too. He found me, then positioned himself on the side of me away from Capt. Sweetie (because he's going to be clear about wanting to be "protected"). He curled up in the crook of my knee, and like sprinkles and a cherry on top of it all, put his little, trusting head on my knee.

Oh, he was good.

But while he had arranged matters to his own satisfaction, they were not universally approved. The Board of Directors of Chez Evil were consulted, a vote was called and taken and Mr. Yips' motion failed. So I brought the kennel up from the kitchen, and that's where he spent the night.

It went remarkably well. Mr. Yips went in happily, made a few sounds, and settled in and slept the night. So, more information--he has been kennelled.

This morning, however, we are seeing the re-escalation of hostilities in the Who Gets To Be On The Bed With The Alpha War. Bermondsey has currently established his Maginot Line on the Western Front, conducting trench warfare from under the bed. Capt. Sweetie has done excellent service in picking up the interloper and dropping him back on the floor as often as Mr. Yips jumps up.

In an attempt to engage in some Fifth Column work, Mr. Yips has sought out Sursels in her room. This is an inventive tactic, since the Allies (a term which here means "Bermondsey") have not recognized nor sought out this potentially strategic alliance with the kids in the family. So any inroads the Axis Dog makes with these lesser powers means he can establish bases from which to safely conduct his continued assaults with the goal of achieving Alpha Dogdom.

It's a dog's life in the modern army.