Total cultural geek that I am, I get the New York Times movie and book reviews delivered to my email. Today come the long awaited, oft-delayed review of The DaVinci Code, and readers, it was worth the wait.
Not the movie, silly. The review.
Who knew that the Gray Lady would sink to being snarky? Can one even be snarky when you have to refer to everybody and Mr. or Ms.?
Apparently you can. And A.O. Scott did.
I wish I had written these lines:
He [Tom Hanks character] is summoned to the crime scene by Bezu Fache, a French policeman who seems very grouchy, perhaps because his department has cut back on its shaving cream budget.
...albino monk, whose name is Silas and who may be the first character in the history of motion pictures to speak Latin into a cellphone...
Through it all Mr. Hanks and Ms. Tautou stand around looking puzzled, leaving their reservoirs of charm scrupulously untapped.
...not even a glimmer of eroticism flickers between the two stars. Perhaps it's just as well. When a cryptographer and a symbologist get together, it usually ends in tears.
I will give Mr. Brown this much: he's good at names. If I ever have twins or French poodles, I'm calling them Bezu and Teabing for sure.
Mon dieu! Ze movie, it is merde, but the reviews sure are fun to read!
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